


The Clearing in the Woods

by remyskindathicc



Category: Home Depot - Fandom, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Don't worry it isn't kinky, Gen, Home Depot, Humiliation, I just like talking about pee too much I'm sorry, I promise, Mystery, POV Second Person, Pee, Pee Pee, Piss, The pee isn't the main focus. It just helps drive the plot, Urination, Urine, bladder desperation, yeah it's just basically pee with a pinch of mystery sprinkled in
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:06:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24861274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/remyskindathicc/pseuds/remyskindathicc
Summary: You're shopping inside of Home Depot when a problem arises. You really gotta pee pee! Will you be able to find a bathroom in time? Or will you piss yourself trying?
Relationships: (IMPLIED), Sans (Undertale)/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	The Clearing in the Woods

You, like the complete and utter fool you are, forgot to buy your father a birthday present. For the past few weeks you’ve been meaning to buy him a new drill, seeing as his old one is irreparably destroyed, but it completely slipped your mind. Now you have pretty much no other choice than to go to a Home Depot half an hour from where you live, on the morning of your father’s birthday. This is just fantastic.

As desperately as you wanted to go to a store closer to where you live, literally every other place within a fifteen-mile radius was sold out of the stupid drill. It doesn’t make much sense to you why a drill would be so sought-after, but there’s not any use questioning it. As much as you hate it, your only option was to drive all the way out here.

Well, what’s done is done. You suppose that it’s better to go the extra mile getting your dad a present than leaving him empty-handed and broken-hearted. It seems that your fate is to spend your morning searching for some stupid, weirdly-popular drill.

As you’re looking through the many drill options, you realize something. You really gotta fucking piss. Damn it. Before you can make any progress finding your dad’s gift you’re going to need to figure out your bladder situation.

You head back to the front of the store and check for any signs of a bathroom. No luck. It’s honestly a bit surprising that they don’t have some sort of sign pointing to the bathroom, but you don’t think too much of it. Maybe this Home Depot just does things differently. You’re not one to let things so easily, but you need to piss away more than you need to criticize Home Depot’s restroom choices. You go onward and continue your search.

After a few minutes of searching without any luck, you realize something. Not only is there absolutely no indicators of a bathroom in this dumb store, but there doesn’t seem to be any people here either. You’ve searched half the store but have yet to see another living being. There’s not a single employee or fellow consumer in sight. You’d normally chalk it up to it being a slow day, but the parking lot was nearly full when you got here. Something isn’t adding up.

As you continue looking, your need to pee grows more and more unbearable. You may be getting some bad vibes from this place, but right now all you can think about is your growing need to piss.

You roam the empty aisles, growing desperate for any signs of life. Unfortunately for you, it seems the only companionship you have is the wood lining the massive shelves. No matter hard you search, you find nothing but lumber and hardware. You feel like a child who has lost its mother. Lost, confused, and fueled by a need to pee. However, unlike when you were young, you can’t solve your problems by just simply pissing your pants.

The further you trudge into Home Depot’s depths, the quicker you lose hope of finding a savior. You’re nearing the end of the store and things aren’t looking too good for you. With every step you take, your bladder seems a bit fuller.  
You make it to the final aisle. This is it. Your last chance of finding a bathroom; your last chance of not pissing your pants. You pray to any god willing to listen that you’re truly not the only person in this god-forsaken Home Depot. You tentatively peer around the corner, fully expecting to be faced with nothing but wood and disappointment.

To your delight, you find a man instead. Your savior, an actual godsend, stands at the end of the aisle. Without hesitation, you start speed-waddling towards him. The only features you care to identify in your rush are his pale, bald head and the fact that he’s draped in the signature apron of a Home Depot employee. Perfect. There’s no way he won’t be able to help you.

A painful minute of waddling later and you’ve finally reached him. You don’t hesitate to beg, “Please sir! Please tell me where the bathroom is! I’m two seconds away from pissing myself please, please, please help me!”

You stand there dumbfounded when he turns to face you. In your haste, you hadn’t even noticed that anything was off. His pale, bald head is actually a boney skull. The realization hits you like a train. You recognize him. You nearly pee yourself, then and there.

You’re face to face with Sans Undertale himself.

His empty, void-like eyes stare you down. The undying grin etched into his face does nothing to soothe your nerves. You can practically feel the judgment radiating off of him.

His deep voice snaps you out of your panic. “I can help ya out, pal.”

Before you can react, he begins walking away at a surprisingly brisk pace. Barely able to keep up, you waddle behind him. Your bladder cries with every step. You may be in agony, but you’re somewhat comforted by the idea that you’ll have sweet, sweet relief soon. One way or another.

Soon, the two of you find your way to the front of the store. You feel a bit confused. After all, this was the very first place you checked. Maybe you skimmed over it in your haste?

Your confusion turns into full-on bewilderment when Sans straight up exits the store. You freeze as he casually strolls out though the automatic doors. As bizarre as this is, your bladder screams for you to keep going. Against your better judgment, you decide to give him the benefit of the doubt. Who knows, maybe Home Depot was too cheap to get a bathroom? Maybe there’s a porta-potty outside?

He leads through the parking lot to the woods behind the store. You hesitate. Are you really dumb enough to follow some rando into the woods? Even if said rando is the Sans Undertale, this still feels like a plot ripped straight out of a cheesy horror movie. But, your bladder urges you onward. You can practically see the headlines now: “Dumbass Killed Behind Local Home Depot, Found Soaked in Own Piss”

He leads you deeper and deeper into the woods. Regret laces every step you take. You know this was a terrible idea. You can’t figure out why the hell you agreed to follow a stranger into the woods. Jesus fucking Christ you really are an idiot.

You’re snapped out of your thoughts when Sans abruptly stops walking, causing you to nearly crash into him. The two of you are standing right at the edge of a small clearing. This clearing, unlike the rest of the forest around it, seems surprisingly well kept. It’s obvious the grass has been mowed recently and there’s no weeds in sight. The only thing there, besides the trimmed grass, is a single bush that rests in the center of the clearing.

Sans slowly looks at you. His eyes are half-lidded and he’s still wearing that chilling smile. He radiates smugness and something else you can’t quite put your finger on. Casually, he lifts his skeletal hand to point at the bush. His voice cuts through the peaceful silence of the forest. “Squat down, Champ.”

Horrified, you stare back at him. He just stands there, still nonchalantly pointing towards the clearing. Fueled by fear, you slowly amble into the clearing. You continue to watch him, looking for any signs that this is all some bizarre joke. He hasn’t moved. He’s just smiling and pointing.

Unsure of what else to do, you squat down in the bush and unbuckle your pants. God, this is absolutely mortifying. You literally would have preferred pissing yourself inside of that damned store over dealing with this humiliation.

You look away from Sans as you yank down your pants. Your cheeks are burning with embarrassment, but at least you’re covered by the bush. You resolve to t piss as quickly as you can be over and done with this agonizing experience. Mid-piss, you look back to sans. Thankfully, he’s no longer pointing at you. But, disturbingly, he’s still staring right at you. Despite how much you want to, you find yourself able to break eye contact.

As soon as you finish peeing, you manage to advert your eyes from him. You look down and pull up your pants. To your surprise, when you glance back up you see nothing but the forest that surrounds you. In the seconds it took you to pull up your pants, he managed to vanish without a trace. You can’t even fathom how anyone would be able to manage that.

Panicked, you book it out of the woods as fast as your trembling legs can carry you. You don’t understand what just happened, but you sure as hell know it isn’t anything good. Luckily, Sams didn’t lead you too far into the forest. You’re out of the woods and in front of the Home Depot, gasping for air within seconds.

You recollect yourself, but you’re soon filled with dread again. You may have finally “taken care of” your bathroom problem, but there was still the issue of buying your dad a drill. There’s nowhere else for you to go and you need this drill by tonight.

After gathering every last bit of courage you possess, you walk back into Home Depot.

To your absolute shock, you’re immediately met with a bathroom sign hanging from the ceiling. Terrified, you make a beeline towards Hardware and try to ignore the dread that is now filling you. You know it’s possible that you didn’t notice it in your rush earlier. You know it. So why is your gut telling you that’s not the case?

You leave this hell-store as quickly as you can. You’ve never been so relieved to be done shopping. You rush out of the store and don’t look back. Once you’re in the safety of your own care, you spare Home Depot one final glance.

There, in front of the store’s entrance, is Sans. Grinning just as big as ever, he waves you a lazy goodbye. Now when you look into his empty eyes, you can see the true malice hidden within them. You still don’t understand what happened today, and you definitely don’t plan on finding out.

Without hesitation, you speed away from this fucking nightmare.

**Author's Note:**

> It's probably smart to pee beforehand next time you go to Home Depot <3


End file.
